what'a life...

What should I do with my life?

Honestly, I really don’t have an answer to this question right now. There are days when I’d just wake up, go through the motions of everyday life, feeling like each day is just the same old boring routine that I have to go through. It’s like I’m on autopilot, just going through the familiar motions, waking up, going to work, spending 8 hours of it (plus overtime), then going back home to sleep, repeating the whole cycle again the next day. It’s fine, I do get some enjoyment along the way, in the form of friends and interesting happenings, but at the end of the day, I still feel like there’s something missing.
It’s like at the back of my mind, I know that there’s still so much out there for me to do. I have this unsettling feeling that keeps nagging me, making me feel like I’m not supposed to be where I am right now, that I should be somewhere else. I feel like I’m merely existing, contented in living the same old boring routine everyday. My inner voice is practically screaming to me, telling me that I should be doing something else with my life, and not to waste it doing a boring, mind-dulling job day after day. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my job, it has helped me a lot. But right now, I feel like 3 years is enough, and I have this urge to move on and try something new.
I’ve tried convincing myself, I’ve tried extending my patience, I’ve tried coming up with reasons for me to stay where I am… and I’ve done okay for a while, but now, I feel like I just can’t take the monotony anymore. To be completely honest, I’m just waiting for the perfect opportunity to leave. I want to leave everything behind and explore new places and things. I don’t know where that is, and yes, there’s the fear of uncertainty, but that’s what makes it even more exciting. And that’s what I badly need in my life right now. I miss that feeling. Somehow, the excitement of life just got lost in the daily grind. But I need to get it back! There’s this glowing light inside me, motivating me to LIVE life to the fullest. I want to truly LIVE life, I want to truly experience it, and not just be contented in merely existing.
I look at other people and I see that their lives have some form of direction, and then I look at myself, and I realize, I don’t really know what I want! All I have are theories and abstracts...(well)... Do I just get up and leave, adopt the motto, “Come what may” and plunge into the unknown? A part of me is seeking some form of security, of course, but another part of me wants to experience the thrill of the unknown. Through the uncertainties and questions, one thing is clear to me. I don’t want another year to go by with me still stuck in this rut. I haven’t done anything worthwhile, haven’t experienced anything that I can say I really enjoyed…I have to get a move on!
But still the question stands, what should I do with my life? Honestly, I don’t know what I should do at this point. I’m so confused and restless, I have to do something, ANYTHING, soon. I don’t want to reach a point where I’ll regret not having lived a good life, and worst of all, it’s going to be too late to do something about it.

my new fone...

Yay for Korea! After mass producing millions of cell phones for years, the country finally gets one to call their own - the Nokia 6210s. Normally, this would be something to brag about, but here’s the catch... 6210s, is essentially, made in Korea, for Korea. Not to mention that the 6210 Navigator is a good year-and-two-months old.

*The specs for the 6210s vs. the 6210N haven’t changed much, if at all. It’s still a slider, still supports WCDMA 3G, still runs Symbian S60, still has a 3.2 megapixel camera, and still has a 2.4″ screen. The GPS is still there. About the only discernable difference is a presence of a Korean font. Otherwise, it seems to be the same exact phone. Oh wait - Nokia also removed the useless “Navigator” text from the front of the phone. (*trivia from mr. wikepedia)

...but mine has the "ShOw" logo (Korean promotional logo for featured phones).

Anyway, good to hear there’s a new improvement for this Nokia 6210... so cool and fashionable, and modified nice phone would be better if not great. Be glad to have one...har har!

current mood: slightly happy

This made me laugh, despite my mood today... My good friend sent this to me thru my messenger. Just thought I'd post it in case you need to lighten up your mood as it did mine.

Enjoy!

“I would like to thanks God, my mother, my father,
but most of all my parents…”
“I’m only human nature…”
“First and for all..”
“Right there and right then..”
“Been there, been that..”
“That’s what I’m talking about it!”
Pinoy1: “Thanks and advanced!”
Pinoy2:”Forget it about it! What are friends for?”
“I ran into some errands.” (Magkakilala pla sila ni Errands)
“Don’t touch me not!”
“Come! Let’s get it on with it!” ( whatevaa!)
“What is the world is coming to?”
“The sky’s the langit! Order what you want!”
“It’s as brand as new!” (2nd hand na oto)
“Keep that bear in mind” (polar or grizzly?)
Pinoy1: “When it rains, its four!”….
Pinoy2: “Korek, every cloud has a silver lightning..” (naku sana
wag akong tamaan)

current mood: upset

I am soooo disappointed. I have always tried to do things by the book but I think it's not enough for me to just leave it on one side because its always the same routine that goes round and round and round and... a l w a y s!

I tried hard to be patient to understand all the things that comes into my soo senses and have waited so long for everything to come out and run smoothly. But when it finally did ... nothing happened like it was no BIG deal.

So from now on ... I will use my selective blindness disorder to my own advantage. My lips have been stitched too.

But I will continue to believe that there's still someOne up there who'll guide and take care of whats been left...!

water fun

What's missing when its too hot and your body is soo dehydrating? Yes, water isn't it! But this time, our family went to an outing when we cannot survive the heat with just eating "halo-halo" every afternoon of everyday! heh heh!

Date: March 21, 2009 (Saturday, 1:00 PM)

Location: Coral na Bato Resort, San Rafael, Bulacan

Rice check.

Ulam check. (inihaw na tilapya and baboy with mangga, kamatis and bagoong plus the never missed talong and okra on the vegetable side)

Drinks check. (10 bags of ice, tea and coffee, hot water for hot drinks, housewine from Korea )

Fruits check. (ripe mangoes and bananas)

Heat is rising but we have to eat our lunch first before jumping into the pool. After having our festive meal, we took shots everywhere and then decided to swim. We also tour the place and discovered that the resort has so many pool (for children and for adults plus slides), playground and recreational areas.

It's so fun. Its like having a family reunion at once. I also brought with me my videocam for video recording and my mp4 for sounds but too bad we don't have loud speakers...so my cousin thought of using the videoke microphone as the speaker. As we were using that, one crew went to us and told us that we should not use that device. "Okay", is what we have said.

We ended the occasion later at around 7:00 in the evening and I also found out that same night when we arrived home that I lost my silver anklet. (Lesson learned: Never wear accessories when swimming.)

Check out some of our photos:

my little niece

This is my little niece who is now 1 year old. She's the daughter of my first cousin Annalyn who visited me last March 20, 2009. Her name is Cyrene Ada, my sister called her "Budaday", and so in short I called her Buday. I was her Godmother when she was baptized last year and I missed this litttle girl now!

"chill mode"

As the sun heats its power up...its "tambay mode" this time!

with me is my tita Goreng

March 7, 2009

the gig

March 17-18, 2009

It's my cousin's birthday bash...